Join us for this FUN-RAISER

www.surviving2thriving.org

www.allfiredupinc.com

Surviving Suicide...A Powerful Story!

These young girls have a powerful story to tell--One they tell without speaking words.  However, the silence in which they speak is powerful and you will hear the message resound as a call to live your life to the fullest.  I don't just empathize with this young women, I AM THEM.  I was suicidal at age 14.  I was scared, lonely and hopeless--at 14 years old! Sexually molested,  physically and emotionally abused, I did not know that I was worth anyone's time.  I overdosed on any pill I could find in my house.  As the ambulance rushed me away, I realized that I didn't want to die...I just didn't want to live in pain any longer.  When my stomach was pumped and I was in the clear I made a decision.  I made a decision to live!  Today I am grateful to the Divine Intelligence for knowing that my work was not done. Watch this video and be grateful for the miracle that is YOU! Take good care of yourself--Namaste.  Imani Evans (Self-Care For Dynamic Women)

An Unorthodox Thanksgiving

In typical rebellious Aquarian style I opted to check out of the traditional Thanksgiving practice this year.  Instead, my holiday was predicated on the need for self care versus cultural doctrine.  While many of my friends were baking turkeys and gathering family and friends for the annual feast and festivities, I was checking in to the Marriott for some much needed alone time.  I had an unrelenting desire to convene with myself outside of my normal surroundings.  So I hurried through the house gathering up my journal, books by my favorite healers and my workout clothes for an opportunity to hit the reset button on my self-care plan.

For the past few weeks I had been drifting further and further away from my carefully-crafted, self-care regimen, which I created as the North Star for my wellbeing.  As I write these words I need to be more honest with myself...The truth is that I had been drifting for more than a few weeks.  It has been more like a couple of months. Yikes!  I had to get refocused.  My whole existence depended on it.  Okay, that may sound a little dramatic—and there is no doubt that I have a flare for theatrics—but this time it is true. 

I have a few health challenges that are directly linked to my stress level and when they are in high gear I am virtually incapacitated.  I was introduced to a new affliction in August of this year.  It was a sudden and acute onset of a horribly painful dermatitis, affecting my hands and feet only.  I was unable to walk or use my hands for weeks.  After one visit to my completely baffled primary care physician, an equally befuddled emergency room doctor and 5 medications that offered little relief, I saw a specialist.  The specialist walked in and diagnosed it immediately.  He clearly identified my condition, stating, “Oh, I have seen this before. I know exactly what this is.  It is Sudden Acute Onset Dermatitis Non-Specific.” Cute...on the...who? What in the heck is that? I felt shocked and relieved all at the same time.  Prior to him, I thought I might have to become one of those people who writes in to weird reality shows in hopes of getting assistance, in exchange for being made a spectacle—a worthy trade off when you just need answers.  The doctor went on to say, “I don’t know your life, but you need to get yourself together.”  I took heed.

After this very scary ordeal, I knew I had to do something.  I was overwhelmed and now my secret was out.  And the coming out day was no joke.  I had to get it together.  So I sat and constructed a self-care plan that covered the needs of my mind, body and soul.  As you can see, letting it fall apart could be detrimental to my health.   I had to do something to retune and get back on track.

Now maybe you better understand the drive toward my unorthodox Thanksgiving.  I needed some emotional space to think and quiet the voices of shoulda-woulda-coulda.  I am not afraid to admit that I am an overfunctioner and I often come down with an acute case of “save the world-itis”. It is not cute.  I start feeling responsible for everyone and everything—in cases where it is required and not.  It is a compulsive place for me.  So this self-care holiday was a must.  Don’t get me wrong, hitting the button on the hotel purchase felt analogous to the president pushing the red button in the oval office.  Hard is an understatement.  I had to talk to myself and in the end my need to take care of myself was the priority.  I am happy to report that it was the right move.

What have I been doing on my self-care staycation? Great question! I have been getting some much needed sleep, as I usually battle insomnia during stressful periods.  I have been meditating, journaling, reading, reflecting, reconsidering, pondering and just loving and affirming myself.  I have one more day here and I plan to make the most of it.

The lesson: The lesson, which I humbly share with you in hopes that you might find some benefit, is to follow your intuition as it guides you in taking care of yourself.  You might call it spirit, intuition, inner-voice, etc.  However you identify it—just follow it to your highest good.  All the people who need and depend on you, can’t do either if you breakdown or if you are not here.  Lesson two: It is never too late to hit the reset button on your needs and desires. Every day that we wake up is a new opportunity to start over and do it all over again—whatever it is for you.

I honor you and your journey to self-care.  Be good to you!

Namaste,

Imani Evans

4-Tips for Self-Care Through the Holidays

It is that time of the year!  The holidays are upon us, but we must remember to keep our self-care regimen on the horizon.  Did you know that domestic violence and child abuse increases through holidays, mostly likely due to the incredible stress we endure, erroneously, as par for the course?  This season often plagues us with anxiety and our stress levels increase during what I call “the pleasing season”.  This is the time when our people-pleasing traits can rise to the surface and cause lots of anxiety.  But often the anxiety is bigger than the actual situation.  So don’t throw your self-care plan out with the gift wrappings.  Instead here are 4 tips for getting through the holiday season with your self-care and your sanity intact:

1)      Make a clear plan for how you will engage guests, family and events.  Thanksgiving, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, and New Year’s Day happens virtually the same time every year, but somehow we stress out like we had no idea it was coming.  Can you say crazy making? Don’t just plan your meals; Map out your interactions too.  You know yourself better than anyone…Be honest with how much “visiting” you can take before your tolerance levels have been surpassed.  It is okay to put your sanity on the Christmas list.

2)      Squeeze in time for breathers.  You will need time to regroup and re-center.  You’d be surprised what a brief 5 minutes of silence can do to bring you back a place of peace.  Take a moment to focus on your breath, which always brings you squarely into the now and that is always the most peaceful place to be.

3)      Schedule and plan time to reignite your self-care plan after the festivities.  Don’t let the holidays completely derail you.  So what you might have packed on 5 pounds?…But 5 doesn’t have to turn into 10, or 20! Add an extra “me” day on the end of your vacation to reflect on the celebration and plans to get back on track.

4)      Remember the true meaning of the season is about people NOT perfection! We can get so caught up in executing the perfect party, dinner, visit, etc., but really it is supposed to be about the connections.  At the end of the day, love, celebration and joy are experiences of the heart!

Click here to listen to my interview on Alicia Horn’s Wealth and Wellness Summit, detailing the tips above.  Remember you are the greatest gift to us all!

Nya Akoma,
Imani Evans, MA
imani@surviving2thriving.org
www.imanievans.com
www.surviving2thriving.org
404.944.6409
404.902.7770

Being Authentic...What it really means?

People often mistake the neck-rolling-hands-on-hip-diva-style-tell-it-like-it-is persona with what it means to be authentic. To the contrary beloveds “keeping it real” and authenticity are not quite the same. I am not saying that some circumstances might not warrant a diva-style approach to speaking the truth. Indeed being a diva is a defensible choice. But there is power in doing anything from choice, versus a lack of understanding. So for the sake of clarity let’s shape a working definition of authenticity.

Authenticity is an amalgamation of personal elements, composed of compassion, vulnerability and honesty. Now let’s break it down into bite-sized pieces of awareness:

 

Compassion and Authenticity

Authenticity without compassion breeds contempt. Your “truth” (which is simply an interpretation of facts filtered through a psychological schema) must take into consideration the heart, soul and being of others. This in no way means that being authentic will avoid hurt feelings. Hurt feelings are an inevitable part of living life on life’s terms. However, treating others with grace and respect honors our sense of humanity, even in the face of emotional pain. To that end, what we often perceive as emotional pain and hurt is God’s way of redirecting our attention back to Divine purpose. When our ego convinces us that being inauthentic is a way to protect another’s feelings then we may be getting in the way of God’s plan…And all I can say is good luck with that!

Vulnerability and Authenticity

Vulnerability is the biggie. It is the piece that usually stumps those who have not done the personal work to heal their emotional baggage. It requires you to have a good sense of self and self-image. However, authenticity without vulnerability lends itself to the desires of the ego. And, oh my, what an untamed beast the ego can be when left to run amok! The ability to be vulnerable means freedom from the primal needs of the ego. You can speak your truth without being affected by someone else’s image of you. Thus, your locus of validation must be internal in order to fuse vulnerability with authenticity. But it is essential if your intention is to speak a truth from your heart, without blame or judgment. For example, it is easier to extend forgiveness when you are vulnerable enough to recognize all the ways in which you need to be forgiven.

Vulnerability affords us all an opportunity to sift through our own painful stories, or joy for that matter. We are then able to see where our stuff ends and the other person’s begins. It is a heart-centered place to be and it takes real courage to live in that emotional position.

 

Honesty and Authenticity

Honesty is the foundation for authenticity. It is required, or you have to forgo even calling it authenticity. My new favorite quotes come from longtime empowerment coach, Iyanla Vanzant. On her new show, Iyanla Fix My Life, you can often hear her say, “Let’s call a thing a thing people” and “Just tell the truth”. Both phrases are more than appropriate for this element of authenticity. So let’s keep it simple. Here is the secret to honesty…Just be willing to tell the truth.

It is imperative that you decide where your integrity begins and ends. It is not always easy to do…I said simple, not necessarily easy. But the people around you deserve your honesty. You deserve your honesty. I am going to dare to say that it isn't always honesty with others that we grapple with. It is actually being honest with ourselves that poses the real challenge. We have to stop lying to ourselves, first and foremost. Stop people pleasing and tell the truth. Stop living in denial because wherever you go there you are, and you cannot run from the universal consciousness, so tell the truth. Stop living in shame because of things that you did when you didn't know any better and just tell the truth. There is no need to worry about how others will perceive you. Remember they are simply filtering their perceptions through their own schema. Instead focus on living with the person you see in the mirror every day.

 

Final Thoughts on Authenticity

Now, imagine how much richer our lives would be with authenticity. Yes, it is true…I promise! I wish you well on your journey to greater self-care through authenticity. Namaste

Written with LOVE by,

Imani

Being in the moment!

Today, I have decided that I am a momentarian! Yes, I made it up :-) 

MOMENTARIAN: One who seeks to enjoy, embrace, and celebrate the here and now. One who seeks to discover and savor the bliss of each moment. One who realizes that even in the painful experiences, this moment is in fact the most precious.

SELF-CARE TIP FOR DYNAMIC WOMEN! 

If neglecting yourself affords you more time to attend to others...that is NOT true love. Self-care requires an element of selfishness (different from self-centeredness). Get a plan that honors both you and the people in your world. Your experiences will be richer in quality over quantity. #healthISwealth Article

listen to ‘Self-care welcome’ on Audioboo