In typical rebellious Aquarian style I opted to check out of the traditional Thanksgiving practice this year. Instead, my holiday was predicated on the need for self care versus cultural doctrine. While many of my friends were baking turkeys and gathering family and friends for the annual feast and festivities, I was checking in to the Marriott for some much needed alone time. I had an unrelenting desire to convene with myself outside of my normal surroundings. So I hurried through the house gathering up my journal, books by my favorite healers and my workout clothes for an opportunity to hit the reset button on my self-care plan.
For the past few weeks I had been drifting further and further away from my carefully-crafted, self-care regimen, which I created as the North Star for my wellbeing. As I write these words I need to be more honest with myself...The truth is that I had been drifting for more than a few weeks. It has been more like a couple of months. Yikes! I had to get refocused. My whole existence depended on it. Okay, that may sound a little dramatic—and there is no doubt that I have a flare for theatrics—but this time it is true.
I have a few health challenges that are directly linked to my stress level and when they are in high gear I am virtually incapacitated. I was introduced to a new affliction in August of this year. It was a sudden and acute onset of a horribly painful dermatitis, affecting my hands and feet only. I was unable to walk or use my hands for weeks. After one visit to my completely baffled primary care physician, an equally befuddled emergency room doctor and 5 medications that offered little relief, I saw a specialist. The specialist walked in and diagnosed it immediately. He clearly identified my condition, stating, “Oh, I have seen this before. I know exactly what this is. It is Sudden Acute Onset Dermatitis Non-Specific.” Cute...on the...who? What in the heck is that? I felt shocked and relieved all at the same time. Prior to him, I thought I might have to become one of those people who writes in to weird reality shows in hopes of getting assistance, in exchange for being made a spectacle—a worthy trade off when you just need answers. The doctor went on to say, “I don’t know your life, but you need to get yourself together.” I took heed.
After this very scary ordeal, I knew I had to do something. I was overwhelmed and now my secret was out. And the coming out day was no joke. I had to get it together. So I sat and constructed a self-care plan that covered the needs of my mind, body and soul. As you can see, letting it fall apart could be detrimental to my health. I had to do something to retune and get back on track.
Now maybe you better understand the drive toward my unorthodox Thanksgiving. I needed some emotional space to think and quiet the voices of shoulda-woulda-coulda. I am not afraid to admit that I am an overfunctioner and I often come down with an acute case of “save the world-itis”. It is not cute. I start feeling responsible for everyone and everything—in cases where it is required and not. It is a compulsive place for me. So this self-care holiday was a must. Don’t get me wrong, hitting the button on the hotel purchase felt analogous to the president pushing the red button in the oval office. Hard is an understatement. I had to talk to myself and in the end my need to take care of myself was the priority. I am happy to report that it was the right move.
What have I been doing on my self-care staycation? Great question! I have been getting some much needed sleep, as I usually battle insomnia during stressful periods. I have been meditating, journaling, reading, reflecting, reconsidering, pondering and just loving and affirming myself. I have one more day here and I plan to make the most of it.
I honor you and your journey to self-care. Be good to you!
Namaste,
Imani Evans
