We had such a blast on January 24, 2013! We hope to see you at the next one.  Come let your inner child play for a great cause.  Thank you so much for your support!

SELF-LOVE VERSUS SELF-SACRIFICE

 Like many women I was raised by a well-meaning martyr for a mother. Unknowingly, she taught me how to use guilt, passive aggressiveness and victimization as a means to an end. Now don’t get me wrong I do not believe that as an intelligent woman, which my mother is, she would ever confess to such a thing. But as I have blossomed into my own womanhood, and intelligence, it has become abundantly clear--that is exactly what it was. In a lot of ways I have rebelled against this thinking. And in some ways I am still grappling with it.

What is clear is that I do not believe there is some high honor in self-sacrifice as an everyday practice and way of life. I don’t believe that the pearly gates of some blissful afterlife open up because you were willing to give up yourself for others. This is not to say that we don’t all have truly altruistic moments and or needs to assist others. We do. I do. We do these things on a regular basis and it is an expression of our humanity. 

However what I’m talking about is the everyday unworthiness to lay down on the tracks for people, places and things that do not deserve nor warrant such sacrifice. I am talking about those of us who choose not to put ourselves first and then wear it like a badge of honor. It is my hope to disempower this belief for myself and any other woman who espouses this concept. Instead it is my hope that we all find a place of balance wherein self-love, self-care and the pursuit of personal wellness are the highest priorities. The most loving thing we can teach our children is how to love and care for self. I am sure we have all heard the saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. However, if you don’t treat yourself well why would you expect anyone to do otherwise? We teach people how to treat us by what we allow and what they see us do for ourselves.

So here’s the take away: Create a wholistic self-care plan that covers the way you treat yourself, mind, body and soul. Write it down and share with your inner circle for accountability and support. Revisit your plan periodically so that it remains adaptable and flexible to your highest good.

I wish you well on your self-care journey.

Nya Akoma! (Take heart)

Imani Evans

CEO/Women Healing Women, Inc.
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