I am currently on a staycation (until mid-August) to restore my soul. I have
been exhausted at a cellular level for years. If you’ve ever experienced this
feeling then you will know that it is not resolved by merely sleeping. I have
always been multi-interested, multi-stimulated and, thus, always multi-tasking.
It is how my brain works; what a glorious gift from God (seriously)! BUT
everything has a breaking point. And there are times when the bucket gets
filled to the max and begins rapidly spilling over, which puts my very sanity
at risk. It has definitely shown up in my health as discomfort and dis-ease.
So here I am. I took off work for 2-weeks to do absolutely
nothing…except whatever I want to do, whenever and however I want to do it!!!! Now…none
of this has been easy, which is why I felt compelled to share this experience with anyone
willing to stop multitasking, for just a moment, to read this. See, I know I am
not the only one trying to wrestle the superwoman cape off of my back and rip it
shreds! LOL
The first four days was spent responding to essential
tasks that I neglected during my numbed-out period. I then informed people in my circle that I was taking a break to restore my soul, body and mind. I even stopped taking appointments,
meetings, etc. This is atypical, because I would usually stop my main “job” but
not my other stuff (community work, vision work, etc.). NOT THIS TIME…This time
even in the face of my guilt-driven-save-the-world-complex, I am telling
clients – NO, I am telling friends – NO, and the list goes on. Interestingly
enough it is not just me who is grappling with my time to do nothing. I keep
getting questions like…”So, what are you doing today?” And maybe it is just me
but it reads like…”surely you are going to do something today and not just
waste time, right?” WRONG, PEOPLE! Ask me how I am feeling on my time off…but
don’t ask me the “what” question.
I am doing NOTHING…nothing today, nothing tomorrow…nothing until and unless I feel otherwise.
I have been working since age 14 like many people in my age
group; I am tired. But that isn’t what gives me the audacity to attempt the art
of doing nothing. It is a human right. It is a birthright. It is a right that
allows us to restore ourselves to our bodies and the connectedness to all things. It is essential to quiet the brigade of
thoughts urging us that we are lazy, wasting time, or slacking off. I reject
those thoughts starting today.
Today I am embracing the right to heal my soul, the right to
sleep, the right to sit, ponder and only “play it by ear”. I am making no plans
unless they can be readily canceled if my need to do nothing needs to take
precedent. There are people who want answers to things, have questions, are
wondering why I haven’t responded---well, this is why. I am working on shaking
off the numbness so that I can re-enter my body…all while doing absolutely
NOTHING.
I HOPE YOU GET YOUR “NOTHING” ON
WHEN NEEDED TOO. Thanks for letting me vent! J
Nya Akoma! (Take Heart)
Imani Evans, MA, EdDc
